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You have 96 seconds to read this or…

03 Dec

Of course they never really tell you what.  The paper will self destruct like mission impossible?

Being more than slightly overweight I looked into “Metaphase”.  Whether or not the stuff works (and I imagine it does, because if you eat Styrofoam for a month you lose weight) it is still a scam.  If you enroll in the VIP program they will give you two weeks’ worth of Styrofoam free.  The only catch is that you have to ACT NOW – offer good until Dec 31st.  What happens then, they aren’t going to take your money?  The other thing you get is the benefit of having them charge your credit card and ship you more Styrofoam every month whether you want it or not.  What happens to most is that they have piles of the crap in the garage and don’t get around to cancelling it (which is no easy task) for several months.

My favorite is “register now because space is limited…” for a webinar.   How can space be limited for an internet function?  I asked a few times and was told it was because they mailed out follow-ups.  OK, so Constant Contact now limits the number of emails you can send out too?  Better sign up now before they go away.

The clock.  There is nothing that makes me want to get up off my couch and grab the iPhone more than a little hourglass or stopwatch in the lower right corner ticking down the seconds till…. Till what?  Does the TV blow up if I don’t dial the magic sequence and stop the bomb at exactly 007?

For goodness sake people, wake up!  They will take your registration, commitment, time, or oh yes MONEY, any time you want to offer it.  Don’t let yourself be rushed into making a decision.  Why do you think auto dealers have a “no cooling off period” sign hidden behind the dartboard in their little cubicles.

It’s because most Americans buy stuff we don’t need, on impulse, and they are afraid that if we think about it we might just sober up and pass.  By the way, my house is paid for and my credit cards have a 0 balance.  Guess I’m just not a good American.

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2 responses to “You have 96 seconds to read this or…

  1. MM

    December 3, 2010 at 11:06 am

    Hahahahaha. This is a screech!

     

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