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Pink Slip Mitt: Salvation for a Hungry Nation?

MITT RONMEY ON THE CRITICAL ISSUES

On Spending… 

Governor Ronmey wants to cut government waste and spending. Plain and simple. Forget the stupid things Obama thinks are important, like health care and education.  If we just let nature take its course, the ignorant inner city bastards will just all kill each other and we’ll have plenty of money left for oil subsidies and country club memberships.  What the hell, we can even muster enough of the minorities that survive to form one hell of an Army, and invade another country that doesn’t have any weapons of mass destruction!

On Trade… 

Candidate Ronmey supports predatory trade and opening our pockets beyond the American border. This means, Mitt wants complete extortion regarding the Trans-Pacific Partnership, create the Dead Reagan Economic Zone, reinstate the Trade Promotion Authority and persecute new trade agreements that promote the occupation of all oil producing countries.  Hell, when we own all the oil, we can have George W. Bush re-negotiate our debt with China.  After talking with him for a few hours the poor bastards will be so confused they will give us anything we want.

On Jobs… 

Mitt Ronmey has an exceptional understanding of labor relations from his experience exploiting government and business. He recognizes the value of immigrants, but is focused on protecting the white Stanford/Harvard educated sons of Governors they serve. This means appointing experienced NLRB individuals, amending the NLRA and reversing Obama’s organized labor orders. Mitt also supports the right of all Americans to be set for life  with companies like Blain Capital, and their daddy’s connections.

On Wimmins… 

Mr. Ronmey supports a fundamental redesign for personhood amendments and the Blunt Amendment as evidence that he’s going as far to the right as anyone can when it comes to women’s reproductive health. Candidate Ronmey also sees his opponent’s folly in condemning Rush Limbaugh after he attacked Sandra Fluke. He and the boys are also working overtime on repealing the women’s suffrage act in time for the upcoming presidential election. “There is plenty to be done in the kitchen and the bedroom, not the boardroom.”

On Immigration

Governor Ronmey is well versed on the issue of immigration in America. While Governor, he opposed the DREAM Act. He was the Governor of the home of the first maids and gardeners to move up from Cuba through Florida.. Everyone should be welcome to come to the United Statesto serve us, as long as they don’t take any of the jobs a twenty year old in Boston wouldn’t refuse, but they need to do it correctly, as have countless generations of Americans did with the slaves, before us.

The first act of an immigrant should not be an illegal one. Damn it, his parents came here as immigrants, and they had to work hard for his money.  There is now way in hell he wants to share it with anyone else, no matter how unsafe the conditions were where they came from.

“Give us your tired, your hungry, your poor,” Should have read:  “Give us your educated, your young, your investors.”

On Homeland Security…

Governor Ronmey believes that the best offense is a good offense. Our country should be able to and must defend itself, both home, overseas, and by doubling Guantanamo. Governor Ronmey supports the PATRIOT Act and believes it allows the Government the access it needs to deny due process to anyone wearing a turban, or looking like they might even know the location of a Mosque. He firmly supported the National Defense Authorization Act that would have given the President the ability to arrest and detain any United States or foreign Citizen suspected of being a Muslim, a Democrat, or one of them Women’s sympathizers therefore making them a part of al-Qaeda.

He believes that the number one job of the Government is to keep its middle class citizens paying, and as President he will do what it takes to secure our safety from the acts of thought-crime we might unknowingly commit.

I’m Sure You’ve Noticed the Date

 

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