Tag Archives: Charlie Sheen

If You Really Love Them, Kick Them to the Curb!

I just had drinks with my ex last night.  We ended up talking about life, our kids, their friends…

One of our best (kid) friends with very liberal and “understanding” parents, was an all-league athlete and scholar in high school, and could have been a male model like his dad, but he gained about 75 extra pounds.  He now is 24 years old, and after being fired from a retail store (which is really hard to do) started a business promoting raves.  That doesn’t apparently make much of an income, and is about as healthy a lifestyle as being a rock musician, and he is now unemployed and living with his parents.

Steve Jobs was put up for adoption at birth, dropped out of college, and was fired from the very company he founded.  I think that there is no one on earth that is not impacted by his accomplishments.

My eldest daughter was the valedictorian at a very prestigious high school, has a black belt in karate, speaks a few languages, could pose for the cover of Vogue, and can’t get out of a lease that is killing her at her private Jesuit University of San Diego so her mother or I have to bail her out again at the age of 22?

Jerry West was terribly abused as a child, beaten with a belt buckle and ended up having to purchase and carry a pistol under his bed to keep his father from beating his sister with an axe handle.  He was a hall of fame player, and a hall of fame coach in basketball.

Charlie Sheen.   Say no more.

My wife survived cancer when she was 14.  She is now the Vice President and Director of a corporate travel management entity that is part of a global operation in 37 countries and employs well over 6000 people.

They say that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  I truly believe that.  When talking about my daughters and the possibility that their mom might lose her health insurance, I was struck simultaneously by a “dad’s” protectionism (I need to help out somehow) and my own dad’s reality; you’re 22 years old; get a freeking job and you’ll have your own health insurance.

My ex (being the ever extraordinarily codependent enabling mother) countered with “well things are tougher now.”

Really?  Things are tougher than when I grew up with the shadow of the great depression? My father had to drop out of Cal Berkeley when he was 23 to get a job to help support his parents.   Things are tougher than when I had to live with people like Johnson, Nixon, Ford, and Carter as presidents?  They are tougher than fighting my way to and home from school every day?  Tougher than going to sleep fearing that the air raid siren was going to go off any second because Khrushchev stopped pounding his shoes on the podium of the United Nations and  grabbed the red button?

I grew up in the days when one had a paper route at the age of 10.  I canvassed the neighborhood dropping flyers to get weekend jobs gardening.  I had my first real job at a chemical factory after school when I was old enough to drive there.  In college I took wedding photographs on weekend days, and worked in the processing plant at night.  Things are tougher now?

There are certain things that we can do to, and for our children.  Gary Radnich said it well today; perhaps the kindest thing we could ever do for a child is kick them to the curb (lovingly) and make them fend for themselves.  I have a dear friend that had to literally do that to his eldest son.  He was addicted to several things, couldn’t maintain any semblance of a work life, and came begging to his dad to give him “one last chance.”  He said no.  He meant it.  He literally gave him a sleeping bag and showed him the door.

Several months later, after he had hit his “bottom” or catharsis or whatever you call it, the kid came back cleaned up on his own, and is now the number one salesperson at his dad’s construction company, and the heir apparent to the family business.

Spare the rod, spoil the child?  Killing with kindness?  You figure it out.


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We Are So Spoiled It Makes Me Ill. Hooyah! Let us Give These Brave People a Moment of Consideration and Thanks.

While the newsreels play out a perfect scenario of success, we sit back on our couches and pat each other on the backs for what “we” just did in Pakistan.  We all have the images in our heads (myself included) that Navy SEALs are invincible; highly trained and disciplined young men and women that somehow through deification become invincible the second they pass BUD/S INDOC.  Not to mention things like that if you fail the OC (obstacle course) twice you are out.  Contrary to the “GI Jane” opinion, you don’t necessarily have to ring “the bell” yourself.
In truth it takes a SEAL 30 months of training before they are ready for deployment.  The SEALs that emerge are ready to handle pretty much any task called on including diving, combat swimming, navigation, demolitions, weapons, and parachuting. The training pushes them to the limit both mentally and physically but that doesn’t make them invincible.
These young warriors aren’t anything like our wonderful Hollywood caricatures.  A model SEAL is 5’10” and 175 pounds, about the only similarity to the Charlie Sheen, Sylvester Stallone, and Keifer Southerland avatars we watch boldly walking down mud streets or wading in rice patties, guns blazing, as the venerable enemy drops silently in droves at either side.  Obviously these made up lipstick wearing Adonis’s wouldn’t last 5 seconds in an actual fire-fight, but that’s not the point.
As we sip our white wine with our fat asses on that couch, congratulating ourselves for a job well done (and for those of you who have been and done, this obviously does not apply to you) let us take pause to reflect upon just how “easy” it was to kill bin Laden.  We get a picture of the Spec-Ops guys gearing up for the pre-op briefing, huddled around Dennis Haysbert and the rest of The Unit, casually leaving their all very attractive wives for another mysterious little “outing.”  Every now and then one of them might be injured, but there is very seldom any wholesale gore, and it is very easy for them to “leave no man behind.”  We also have a tendency to look at the statistics of that particular (bin Laden) mission and have it validate our Jack Bauer image of what Spec-Ops duty is like:  build a practice scenario, shoot at some dummies, get briefed, get on a plane, get on a Blackhawk, insertion, recon, flash-bang, fire a few quick shots, egress, extraction, and appearance with the President.
I t would be fine if life were so simple.
We can all mouth the words “war is hell.”  Very few of us can appreciate how true that is.  Sure we’ve all seen Ben Hur , Apocalypse Now and Saving Private Ryan but the familiarity of the stars, the surreal nature of the sets and the dislocation of the context makes it beyond our sensibilities to comprehend or relate to.  It becomes as abstract as a computer game where the figures just disappear when you kill them or the car always returns to the track no matter how many times you crash.  A more true representation of “war” can be found in BBC History of World War II if you have the time, and the stomach to sit through it.  It would change your life.*
We have so much to be thankful for, and so much to regret.  Joseph Schumpeter (economist)  was correct in his publication of 1942 (Capitalism, Socialism and Democracy) in asserting that the success of capitalism will lead to a form of corporatism and a fostering of values hostile to capitalism, especially among intellectuals. The intellectual and social climate needed to allow entrepreneurship to thrive will not exist in advanced capitalism; it will be replaced by socialism in some form.   (Does this sound like anything we have been hearing lately in political debate?)
The end result of this is that we Americans have spent beyond our means, that stockholder equity has dictated that we ship our jobs offshore, that our past industrial success has left us with an abnormal dependency on foreign oil, and that the greed, arrogance and ignorance of our people has left our country gasping and vulnerable.  Can we get it back? Hell yes, but not without hard work and sacrifice.  Corporate bail-outs and pork-barrel legislation should be punishable by death.
So we got ourselves in a bit of a jam.  There are people out there that hate us:  Shiites, Sunnis, Cripps, Bloods, you name it.  In some part we have to be aware of the disparity that our opulence has caused, and the result of our largely Christian Evangelistic society and the push-back it can instigate.  We have been fortunate and not always particularly diplomatic about it.  We have all experienced the “Ugly American” at some point in our foreign travels, and I have had the good fortune to be able to travel extensively and hear what some extremely intelligent people actually think about us and our politics.  Since that experience it has been a comfort to watch BBC News more often than FOX, if you know what I mean.
The “war” on terrorism didn’t start on September 11, 2001.  It did not end on May 2, 2011.  How ironic it would have been if they could have negotiated the operation one day earlier.  “Bin Laden comes to infamy on 9/11 and is executed on May Day,”
* If you want just one example of what kind of hell a SEAL operation can actually endure I encourage you to read the story at the following link.  It is not my liberty or bandwidth to articulate how many stories there are like this, or how many young heroes have given their lives in the service of their country, and the pursuit of this threat.  Suffice it to say that the administrations statement of “no casualties” on this operation makes me sick.  This was part of a huge global operation that eventually culminated in a victory.  No victory for American service men and women comes cheap, nor should their sacrifices be overlooked.  Hooyah!
Please note that they had it right, even then. This Op was in Asadabad, where we finally caught him. They opened the door.  They did NOT die in vain.
This Op stared out with a crew of 4 SEALs.  Take a look at how “Jack Bauer” this turned out:
11 Navy SEALs and 8 Army Task Force 160 aircrew died in the battle.
 Marcus Luttrell, Matt Axelson, and Danny Dietz each received the Navy Cross, the second-highest decoration for valor in the military.
For his actions, Michael Murphy received the Medal of Honor on October 22, 2007.
The men who gave their lives on the helicopter are:
Staff Sgt. Shamus Goare, 29, Danville, Ohio.
Chief Warrant Officer Corey Goodnature, 35, Clarks Grove, Minn.
Sgt. Kip Jacoby, 21, Pompano Beach, Fla.
Sgt. 1st Class Marcus Muralles, 33, Shelbyville, Ind.
Major Stephen Reich, 34, Washington Depot, Conn.
Sgt. 1st Class Michael Russell, 31, Stafford, Va.
Chief Warrant Officer Chris Scherkenbach, 40, Jacksonville, Fla..
Master Sgt, James Ponder III, 36, Franklin, Tenn.
Chief Petty Officer Jacques Fontan, 36, New Orleans, La.
Lt. Cmdr. Erik Ristensen, 33, San Diego, Calif.
Petty Officer 1st Class Jeffrey Lucas, 33, Corbett, Ore.
Lt. Michael McGreevy, Jr., 30, Portville, N.Y..
Petty Officer 1st Class Jeffery Taylor, 30, Midway, W. Va.
Senior Chief Petty Officer Daniel Healy, 36, Exeter, N.H.
Petty Officer 2nd Class James Suh, 28, Deerfield Beach, Fla.
Petty Officer 2nd Class Eric Patton, 22, Boulder City, Nev.


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Head-To-Head: Yahoo Search Direct Vs. Google Instant

Mar 23, 2011 at 2:46pm ET by Danny Sullivan

Yahoo rolled out Yahoo Search Direct today, its rival to Google Instant. Yahoo says that its service is focused on providing actual answers, while Google’s is focused on bringing back links. True? Let’s have a face-off.

Test 1: Who’s #Winning For Charlie Sheen?

Yahoo says one of the 15 areas that it’s especially focused on right now with Yahoo Search Direct  is that of celebrities. Well, celebrity Charlie Sheen is still making plenty of news. What happens if I try searching for him at both places?

Typing in “charlie…” on Yahoo gives me:

There are links to Sheen’s Wikipedia page, his Twitter account and a YouTube video about him. Those are all links, not answers.

Meanwhile, Google gives me links, too:

But I have to hand this one to Google. In those links are recent news items about Sheen, which I think are better “answers” than what Yahoo is providing.

Test 2: What’s Playing Near Me?

How about movies showing near me. I type in “mov….” and both show me movie information, even before I finish the word. Here’s Yahoo:

Yahoo gives me three links, to Yahoo Movies, to and to Fandango.

Here’s Google:

Again, I hand this one to Google. Google has guessed at my location, gotten it pretty correct and shows me local screening information. Sure, it’s one city off — but Yahoo didn’t get my city at all.

Test 2, Subsection A: How About By ZIP Code

Yahoo’s demo suggested that I might get better results for a movie search if I also entered a ZIP code. So, I gave it one near me:

That’s pretty nice, though it misses out two theaters that are actually more convenient to the 92661 ZIP code and instead lists the Edwards Univesity Town Center location that’s farther away.

What’s Google got?

Yes, same thing Google showed before. If I want more from Google, I have to do an extra click:

And the clicking is pretty good — I get the nearby Triangle Square cinema listed, which Yahoo’s Search Direct display missed.

Now, if I clicked into Yahoo’s own movie results, I also find Triangle Square listed. But the point about Yahoo Search Direct is that I’m not supposed to have to make that extra click.

Test 3: What’s The Weather?

In Yahoo’s demo, they seemed to totally trump Google in how typing only “wea…” would present the local weather:

But in reality, I got a different experience:

And at Google?

I actually got the weather for my area, just by typing the letters “Wea….” I’d say that was another win by Google.

Don’t get me wrong — I love that Yahoo’s bringing this new system out. Maybe things will improve, as it gets up to speed. Plus, if I ran more tests, maybe it would come out as more impressive than Google Instant.

But it’s also not correct to dismiss Google Instant as just showing a bunch of links. It’s showing answers, too.


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Songify This: Winning – a Song by Charlie Sheen


Help our videos get some love from famous people who don’t understand the internet! Vote for Bed Intruder Song for the 2011 Comedy Awards: TOUR! …we’re going on tour with some of our youtube heroes –


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With Humility Second Only to Adolph, We Offer the Wisdom of Charlie Sheen


“I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

“I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”

“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

“The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed, armless children.”

“I probably took more than anybody could survive. I was banging seven-gram rocks. Because that’s how I roll. I have one speed. I have one gear: Go.”

“I’m not bi-polar, I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

“It’s been a tsunami of media and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.”

“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”

“I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

“People can’t figure me out, they can’t process me, I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with the normal brain.”

“I’m an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordnance to the ground.”

“Dying is for fools, amateurs.”

“I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. It’s over. There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.”

“I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

“If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”

“I’m not Thomas Jefferson, he was a pussy!”

“(CBS) picked a fight with a warlock.”

“[A.A.] was written for normal people, people that aren’t special. People that don’t have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA.”

“I’ve got a 10,000 year old brain and the boogers of a 7 year old.”

“I’m shakin’ a tree.  I’m shakin’ all the trees. ”

[On why he’s so quotable] “I’m grandiose.  Because I live a grandiose life.  I’m not aw shucks… because I’m gnarly.”

[On past prostitutes who’ve gone public with their Charlie Sheen stories] “Yeah, where is she now?  She’s under a bridge.”

“What is so bad about being under bridges, anyway?  Bridges should sue Anthony Keidis for defamation.”

[On being asked, ‘Are you worth a hundred million dollars?’] “I think I’m worth over a 100 BILLION dollars, but that’s just on a cellular level.”

“I am battle tested bayonets”

“Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.”

“Marry a tree. My other marriages didnt work out so I’m going to marry a tree.”


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After Charlie Sheen’s Rant, CBS Pulls Plug on Two and a Half Men

Moral of the story:  No matter how big (no pun intended) you think you are, your karma will indeed catch up with you eventually.  No wonder Emilio changed his name.

by Glen Levy

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters/Corbis 

Mario Anzuoni/Reuters/Corbis

In the words of CBS and Warner Bros., due to the “totality of Charlie Sheen‘s statements, conduct and condition,” production has ceased on the top-rated sitcom Two and a Half Men.

The 45-year old Sheen, who seems to be doing his best impression of how to spectacularly end a career in showbiz, gave a bizarre and incoherent radio interview with Alex Jones in which he tore into his executive producer Chuck Lorre and other targets such as Alcoholics Anonymous, calling it a “bootleg cult” with a 5% success rate, compared to his own “100%” success rate.

(More on See more on Sheen trashing a hotel room in the top 10 scandals of 2010.)

Going down the same path that some would say was already taken by Mel Gibson, Sheen’s spleen seemed to carry elements of anti-semitism. “There’s something this side of deplorable that a certain Chaim Levine — yeah, that’s Chuck’s real name — mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro. Check it, Alex: I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process.”

But Sheen wasn’t done. “Last I checked, Chaim, I spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write,” he said.

While Lorre had no comment on either Sheen’s remarks or the production shutting down, the increasingly erratic Sheen would not go quietly. In what the website TMZ dubbed an “open letter,” Sheen called Lorre a “contaminated little maggot” and wished the producer “nothing but pain.” He also wants his fans to start a protest movement for him, which may be difficult considering that he could be down to single figures on that front. “I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong,” he wrote.

(More on The top 50 websites of 2010.)

Because of the already existing hiatus in the schedule due to Sheen’s rehab for reported drug and alcohol abuse, there were only going to be 20 episodes rather than the usual 24 in a season. This will now become 16, which is an additional headache the network could have done without. “It may be lonely up here but I sure like the view, Alex,” said Sheen. At this rate, Sheen may need to get used to spending a lot more time by himself.

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