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New From Southwest: Ventilated Cabins

Last Friday economy travelers were treated to the newest innovation in flying excitement.  Southwest unveiled the “Ventilated Cabin.”  Growing bored with its fleet of 15 year old 737’s they decided to “open things up” a bit at 35,000 feet to let the passengers better enjoy the view.

In the Friday incident, the plane had taken off from Phoenix and was headed to Sacramento, California. Eighteen minutes into the flight, the hole — 5 feet long and 1 foot wide — opened, causing an exciting loss of pressure.

To protect the secrecy of this new marketing campaign, the plane was quickly landed at a nearby Air Force base, and reporters were discouraged from sharing further details of this product launch.

In a continuing effort to enhance flying excitement, some 300 flights were cancelled to allow retro-fitting of this feature.  It should soon be available on some 179 more airframes, and at no additional cost to the passenger.

Southwest declined to comment regarding rumors of the next offering in the series:
The Glass Bottom Plane

 

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